Truth

I was told today that I never had anything positive to say about you. Well Truth be told, if you get me started it'll probably be close to impossible to get me to stop.

& my most favourite things about you are:

-you like me for who I am,even though we have our on sets of differences regarding things you've never ever asked me to change to suit your liking.(I know you won't force me to go skiing if I don't want to)
-you are so patient with me and you take time out to not only hear but actually listen to what I have to say.
-the way you worry about the smallest of things when it comes to me. I know I always tell you that I'm not a kid. But the truth is that I love the attention and concern I get from you.( You annoy me like any other friend I have but I also know for a fact that you'd be there for me in no time whenever I needed you)
-the way you argue with me not because I'm wrong but because neither of us feel like hanging up.
-you wake up at 9am just to reply to my messages:D

-In all its just the way you make me feel...

(This was just a glimpse of all the positive things about him)..

Donkey Boy

Please bring back mangoes from Norway!:) A very importat request from Anne:D

I fail to understand why people have to go to places where their fones are out of range!!!:@ As if being a million miles away wasn't bad enough!!

SLEEP

Everyones s entertaining when they're sleeping! One tosses and turns;reminds me of a fish without water. Another lay so still, seems like shes a log! And another decides to have a conversation while sleeping!! Ahh,the effects of having a LONG day!

I on the other hand sit and blog while everyone else is busy dreaming! I've been super jumpy the whole day without the redbull. If only my roomie saw me today,she'd be totally impressed!! I haven't been able to calm the butterflies n my stomach till now,the excitement continues...if only i knew what the excitement was about!!!!!Non-stop giggleing together with hyperactiveness! Classic combination!!!!!!!!

Blind Date..

These few days have brought back so many memories, especially those random blind dates we planned for the guys...'simba,timon and pumba' Bet that gave you guys enough experience for a life time.

Anyways another friend is up for a blind date:
Male
Singe
21
Canadian by nationality but a mix of Irish,American,Filipino and Samoan

He's a dream boat!!! If only I weren't taken...sighh..:|

So single girls give me a shout out if you're up for it coz he's in Fiji for the next 3 years!:)

(YESSSSSSSSSSSSS, The crazy me is back,atleast for now:D)

Within the past week..

1) Lost the tendency to drink.

HOW??! I guess it'll take a while to figure that out...

2) You guys think I've changed;I think I've finally found something to believe in.

Trying to explain how I feel to you guys, Is like trying to explain the smell of rain to someone who has never smelt rain

3) Truth is, I love you, and that in itself is scary enough!!!!!!

Friends

Friends: A simple word isn't it? It's uttered everyday to almost every person imaginable. Who are your friends? I used to think that friends were the people that you could laugh and talk to. Now I know that friends aren't that, they're the people that touch your heart. You could spend hours with them doing nothing at all and it can be the best time of your life, just because it was with them. They're the people you can share your secrets with, cry with, laugh with, and just have fun with. They don't judge you or make you change. They accept you exactly as you are. They look at you and they see a great person, one they love spending time with. You all share something in common and are tied together by memories, tears, laughs and smiles. You're tied together by love for the other. Friendship is the strangest but greatest thing in the world. I find my time with my friends, the best times of my life. My friends are my heart, my soul, my fun, my laughter, tears, love and my life.

Mistakes

People say you learn from your mistakes but sometimes it so happens that even though those mistakes are sort of similar, they're never exactly the same. So what you learn from that mistake may help you grow but not prepare you for the same situation you face in the near future.

Circumstances are never the same,no matter how much you may mentally prepare yourself to face a situation because you have experienced it in the past, things will never be exactly the same...

& in situations like those we learn and grow in terms of experience! We become stronger not in terms of being prepared for what the future holds for us but in terms of being a better person.

Nostalgia

All the letter writing has made me nostalgic. Another year end, so you guys would already have been expecting the letters;) Another lost list of thank you's, I'm sorry's and I love you's.

Just to let you guys know;out of sight NEVER means out of mind, atleast never for me anyway.

<3

And you can see my heart beating
You can see it through my chest
And I’m terrified but I’m not leaving
Know that I must pass this test


As my life flashes before my eyes
I’m wondering will I ever see another sunrise?
So many won’t get the chance to say goodbye
But it’s too late to pick up the value of my life


(Russian Roulette)

Defense Mechanism

Isolation from the ones you care about before they leave makes you miss them alot less once they're gone. That teaches you to gradually move on and find other people.

If you're lucky, you find those that stick around for longer if you're not then they are in your life for a season or a reason and then they carry on with their own lives. Keeping yourself away from those that are bound to leave is one of the best ways to protect ones self because in the end the person left behind is the one that suffers the most.

Another Goodbye...

Its funny how people are lost for words when they are running short of time. Maybe it was a random observation, but it seemed as though everyone knew it had to happen but tried their best to not talk about it at all, and hoping that last moment of bidding farewell wouldn't have to come.

Bottom line people come and go. Sometimes you move on whereas there are others that leave behind an irreplaceable influence on you life.

You're awesome and you will be missed. Looking forward to seeing you with your 10 kids:D

Bottom line: Failure to notice the good in goodbye!

11 Layers Games; Yes, I'm THAT Aimless

11 Layers Of Me


Layer One: On the Outside
Nickname: Too many to state
Birthday : 5/11
Current Location : The Coast
Eye Color : Dark brown
Hair Color : Keeps changing...Black for now
Righty or Lefty : Ambidextrous: Though more comfortable with being a righty
Zodiac Sign : Scorpio

Layer Two: On the Inside
Your Strengths : Friends
Your Fears : ALOT
Your Weaknesses : Chocolates:):)
Ambition in life : To b a good person

Layer Three: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
Your thoughts first waking up : Argh: Whats the time?!
Your bedtime : 3am/4am
Your most missed memory : Meetups @ GJ's && Highschool

Layer Four: Pick Your Choice
Pepsi or Coke : Pepsi
McDonalds or KFC : Macerz
Single or Group dates : Single dates
Adidas or Nike : Nike
Lipton Tea or Nestea : none
Chocolate or Vanilla : Choc late
Cold Coffee or Hot Coffee : Cold coffee

Layer Five: Do You
Smoke : Nope!!!
Have a current crush : Crush?! Not exactly...
Want to get married : Obv not now!
Believe in yourself : Yeah...but do need to be reminded at times as well...

Layer Six: In the Past Month
Drank alcohol : aha
Gone to the mall : Yup
Eaten Sushi : Yeah
Gone skating : Nope, haven't skated after 8th grade
Dyed your hair : Yeah

Layer Seven: Have Your Ever?
Played a stripping game : Yeah
Gotten beaten up : Yes, by aircon,neha and happy feet:P
Changed who you were to fit in : Not exactly;I just blend in

Layer Eight: Getting Old
Age you are hoping to be married : Haven't though about it

Layer Nine: Perfect Mate
Best Eye Color : Hazel or greyish brown;)
Best Hair Color : Dark hair
Short or Long Hair : Short

Layer Ten: What were you doing...
1 Minute Ago : Trying to find my cell fone
1 Hour Ago : Cleaning my room
1 Day Ago : Uhh too long ago to remember
1 Year Ago : Celebrating the begining of summer & Partying!

Layer Eleven: Finish the Sentence
I Love : you?!
I Feel : hungry
I Hate : the weather (too hot)
I Hide : emotions?!
I Miss : alot of people
I Need : FOOD


:D

I'm sorry

He's one of my closest friends, and honestly, we tell each other everything, we make each other laugh, we help each other through just about everything, we're there for each other when no one else is around.

But thats just what he is; My close friend. I wish I were able to live up to the "Best Friends" tag and not do this to you especially on your birthday.

I'm sorry for hurting you so much,
I'm sorry for not realising how you felt beforehand,
I'm sorry for bringing tears to your eyes because I couldn't return those feelings you had for me,
I'm sorry for not being the person you wished I could be,
AND I'm sorry for not being a good friend.

You will find someone better;someone that deserves your unconditional love;someone who's perfect for you. I've seen the tears,the anger the loneliness. Try as you may I can still see it.

-----------------

Its easier to say I'm fine then to explain how you've had no regard for someone else's feelings. Thanx to an awesome friend for being there for me when I needed someone most:D

Happy Day

1) SHOPPING
2) Movie-Time Travellers Wife(Can't complain about the company I had as well;)..)
3) Damien's Birthday surprise
4) The 1000+ word email<3

^^ In no specific order

The little things in life that matter the most; cherised moments with friends,making others happy,realising that you're being missed as well by someone somewhere in another part of the world:)

That Someone..

Sometimes it's easy to feel like you're the only one in the world who's struggling. Who's frustrated, or unsatisfied, or barely getting by.Who's feeling alone, Missing someone so much it becomes hard to concentrate on anything else.

That feeling is a lie. And if you just hold on, just find the courage to face it all for another day. Someone or something will find you and make it all okay.....Because we all need a little help sometimes.....Someone to help us hear the music in the world, to remind us that it won't always be this way. That someone is out there. And that someone will find you.

Pyar Nahi Toh Kya Hai

In your absence the heart will only grow fonder and In your presence it'll melt once more:)

& she can honestly say she has never ever felt this way before.

To give in....or not?!

Fighting for who were,want to be and will be is the greatest battle in life because we all live in a world where people want us to be like someone else.

Lesson for the day:
1) Not to do anything you're not sure of.
2) Have respect for yourself, your thoughts and our feelings


I guess both are exceptionally important because in the end we are the ones that have to live with the consequences of our decisions and regret is the worst form of punishment for a wrong decision.

(Thank you to two very informative discussions with two VERY different people who have the same thoughts regarding the same topic. As wel as making me feel like I was 16 again and needed babysitting:P)

Love you guys:)

Word of the day: Lykke til:D

24 hours

Happiest 24 hours in a LONG time:), Tiring yet memorable.

Said so much without saying anything at all.
Did so much without doing anything at all.

Word of the day : Frokost(Not my fault if the spelling is wrong)

:D

Tum milo na milo,na milne ka gham nahi,
Tum paas se hi gujar jaao, milne se kum nahi.
Maana ki tumhe hamaari kadar nahi,
Magar unse puchho jinhe hum haasil nahi.

Goodbyes..

Life doesn't give you the people you want, it gives you the people you need.
To help you, to hurt you, to love you, to leave you, and to make you into the person you were meant to be. Sometimes the right person happens at the wrong time and changes your life forever whereas some leave their mark like footrints in the sand which get washed away by the tides.

Just because I don' say it doesn't mean I won't miss you, just because I don't want to see you before you leave doesn't mean I don't care and just because I laugh off the fact that you'll be away for so long doesn't mean I'm happy about it.

I'll miss you more then you'll ever know, I care about you more then you'll ever think AND I'm nothing close to being happy about the next 3 months. For once I admit I'm scared, scared about what the holidays hold for the both of us. Then again, patience is good virtue and another day away from you means another day closer to the time we can be together again:)

...The chance for one last dance...

....It is better to end something and start another than to imprison yourself in hoping for the impossible....

Jeg savner deg (Sorry couldn't remember the whole thingy):p

Common sense or the Heart?

I really wish I knew which direction to go. Do I listen to my heart and jump into something so fast? Or do I use my common sense and take my time.

Either way, time is short and decisions are many!

Happiness?

Through all these years I have lived with people that hav been lucky enough to have access to any materialistic possession they wanted to. I've been brought up in a world of powerful,determined and influencial people. They all had everything one could possibly dream of. Though the look of satisfaction was never sighted in their eyes. It was always like they were searching for something.

Some people seem to be happy: they just do not think about it. Others make plans about gaining assets or owning things of great value. They think that the meaning of life lies there, so they never ask the question. Yet, despite all that, their eyes betray a sadness that they themselves are quite unaware of. I've seen that in alot of people.

I don’t know if everyone is unhappy. I do know that people are always busy: working overtime, looking after the kids, the husband, the career, the university degree, what to do tomorrow, what they need to buy, whatever it is they need to have in order not to feel inferior, and so on. They never have time for the little things in life.

People no longer appreciate the little things in life that bring satisfaction;like doing something for someone else. People are caught up in their own world, in the attempt to be happy and content by doing things for themselves.

Nothing is certain..

There comes a time when every life goes off course...Its not a nice place to be. You wonder what you'll do, every decision of yours will be clouded with doubt;both by others as well as yourself.

In this desperate moment, you must choose your direction. Will you fight to stay on path? Will others tell you who you are? Or will you label yourself? Will you be haunted by your choice? Or will you embrace your new path? Each morning you choose to move forward or simply give up.

There comes a time when every life goes off course... In this desperate moment who will you be? Will you let down your defenses, and find comfort in someone unexpected? Will you reach out? Will you face your greatest fear bravely? And move forward with faith. Or will you hide yourself in the darkness of your soul?

I'm really proud of the courage certian people show, even when they are faced with the most unexpected of situations during the most unexpected of times.

Thanx Happy Feet:)

Why on earth are you guys adament on making me cry?! I really am only human, you guys give me credit for things anyone would do for the ones they cared about, so that doesn't make me any "better" or any "special". You guys are my rock, I try and give back to you guys in the same way so that makes us equal:) How can you guys forget my MOST AWESOME senior year quote for the yearbook?! I'll restate it just so you guys remember that measured by miles you guys are far from me, by thoughts you are with me and by heart you guys are ALL in me<3.

"If there is ever a tomorrow when we are not together there is something you must always remember: you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think, but most important of all, even if we are apart, I'll always be with you.” - Christopher Robin


P.S Thanx for the awesome card I couldn't resist quoting it here as well...

'A friend is someone....
That sets things right when the going gets tough,
Who helps to get through when the roads get rough,
Who reads the mind and understands feelings,
Whose sheer presence is enough for the souls healing'.

Crossroads

It's been said that the saddest thing a person will ever face is what might have been? But what becomes of the person who's faced with what was? Or what may never be? Or what can no longer be?

Choosing the right path is never easy!!! It's a decision we make with only our hearts to guide us (That's when our brain decides to go on holiday). But sometimes we find our way to something better... Sometimes we fight through the regret of our mistakes, our anger and our jealously and the embarrassment we feel for not being the people we were meant to be.

And that's when we find our way to something better or something better finds its way to us. Everything happens for a reason. We may not realise it today,maybe not tomorrow but one day everything will fall into place:)

Word of the day=)

ADVANCEMENT!:D

Somedays I wish you weren't such a numbskull. At least now you have a 'slight' idea:)



...I have seen your city lights BUT have you seen my country skies?...
...& perhaps is uncommon fears or uncommon hearts...
...That makes us insincere & torn apart...


IF ONLY IT WERE THAT EASY TO FIGURE OUT?!

A little bit insecure...A little bit scared...

It'll eventually happen one day. The changing of topic or ignoring of situation wont necessarily work forever. Knowing where you stand always helps before you move forward with things.

It was hard enough to get to know you, now you've made it even harder by playing hot and cold. You're so casual about things that actually matter to me. We're from two different worlds and I really don't want to end up in doing something I regret the very next day. As laid back and random as I seem, there is a depth to it all, which you have been lucky enough to see. I don't want to wake up one morning and ask myself:"But what about that kid I used to be? What about all those memories? That’s the one thing they can’t give you in surgery: a new history".

I'm glad you understand all this to a certain extent. BUT I do wish you'd actually come out and say If all this means something to you, or if I was the one mistaken. I have to reconcile with who I am now, who I want to be and who I was. I really don't want to lose my identity and be someone I never thought I'd be.....

Weekend Insanity

The weekend exceeded ALL my expectations. It was interesting in its own aspect. Getting thrown into the pool PLUS breaking the DeTox vow had to take the cake.

I guess I also got carried away with the fact that not everyone can handle my annoying side(I really didn't know I had one though). But I'm really sorry for being a pain. Promise it'll never ever happen again:) Saying hello to the new NOT annoying me.

Thanx for such a sweet birthday card my love, I just had to quote the words here:)

"Who should have gifts wrapped up in love,
to show how much they mean?
Who's warmly thought of,
on special occasions and in-between?

Who should have flowers everyday,
because they're warm and kind?
Who deserves more happiness
than they could hope to find?

Who makes life so wonderful
with special things they do?
I hope that you know.....
that special person is you!"

Words cannot explain how lucky I'm to have friends like you guys. I just hope I'm as caring and thoughtful to you guys as you are to me;-)

Keeping your word

I wish people wouuld think twice before making promises. It may pass as exaggeration of being overly dramatic, but once you promise something you should keep it. That is why the value of a promise is worth more then anything. You have certain expectations from the person that makes the promise.

It is very ironic that people expect adults to be the mature,understanding and reponsible ones, yet little kids are the ones that know the actual value of a promise: a simple pinky promise of having no monsters under the bed gives them enough courage to sleep alone with the lights switched off. But as you grow up, the value of a promise almost vanishes along with time.

This is not the first time you've let me down,and I'm more then sure it won;t be the last. It may come across as me being harsh or angry, well maybe I'm. Giving me what I want because you let me down doesn't always help, letting me do anythingg I want doesn't help either. Somedays I wish you'd turn around and see that i value alot more things in life. Things that you have almost no regard for...


ps. Thanx guys for the gift,cards and wishes:)
love you all ALOT more then chocolate

Dyslexic/Cleaning Day

It was just one of those days, I miss pronounced every second word that came out of my mouth. But i was more then glad to notice that I wasn't the only one having speech difficulty. It must have been something in the "alcoholic air" according to crazy girl.

Cleaning on the other hand went exceptionally well. Whole room restyling with the added features of 3 new super cool pillows( ahh life is good). Alas now there is space for only one person on my bed...So the dragons shall not smile anymore;-)

I also realised that, I was the only one totally unmotivated and not looking forward to my birthday. Vee,Skitz,A/C,Happy Feet and My love are counting down for it. Guys if you're counting down to it because you expect me to be older and wiser by tomorrow, I better warn you now. It's ME and it's almost impossible for me to get rid of the child in me just yet.I’m learning to master the art of growing up, and let me tell you, it's a long process.

Its full of making mistakes, saying something you regret, getting grounded, taking the blame for something you didn't do just so you save a friends ass, staying up late, trying to fit in, laughing too hard and being mistaken for being drunk. Singing old songs WAY too loud. Helping your friends get good grades, even if it takes you the whole night.

Spending money too fast and blaming it on the temptations of advertising. Stupid crushes that don't make sense, falling too fast for someone you just met, trying to hold onto something that simply won't last. Lending a hand, giving advice, dressing to impress.

Smiling through the pain becuase you know that tomorrow will hold something better. Trying you best to hide your tears but having friends that are worse then the FBI, where nothing can be kept hidden from them.Learning to forgive and to put your pride on the shelf. The most boring Mondays mornings where nothing seems to make sense and crazy Saturday nights when no one sleeps. Making a complete fool of yourself in front of everyone, dancing on cafteria tables and owning the pink bench. Not taking life seriously, just having fun.

These are reason enough for me not to be " grow up"

:)

Kyun?

Har baar jab bhi main uska naam apne zubaan par laati hoon, tumhara chera utar jaata hain.
Har baar main baat ko taalne ki koshish karti hoon, lekin tum itne attal rehte ho humare baare mein jaanne ke liye,

Woh dard dikhta hain,lekin main kuch kar nahi paaongi
Woh chaahat dikhta hain lekin main lauta nahi paaongi

Main samajh sakti hoon ke tumpe kya beet rahi hain
Main samajh sakti hoon tumare liye yeh aasan nahi

Mujhse hazaar baar achi ladkiya milengi tumhe,
Tum ek ache insaan ho, mere karaan se apne aap ko mat badlo.

Naya Ehsaas

Kaise Batayein,Kyun Tujh ko Chahe,Yaara bata na Paaye

Baatein dil-o-ki,Dekho Jo Baaki,Aankhein tujhe Samjhaye

Tu Jaane Na......

Mil ke bhi,Hum na mile,Tumse na jaane Kyu,Milo ke hai Fansle..


Hum pass ho ke bhi,Tum aas ho ke bhi,Ehsaas ho ke bhi...Apne nahi..Aise hai hum ko gileh..Tumse najaane kyu..

Meelo ke hai fansle tum se na jaane kyun...

But when you smile for me, the world seems all right,ke meri zindagi pal mein hi tham jaye jaane kyun:)

Maybe..

Maybe...we were supposed to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one so that, when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

Maybe...it is true that we don't know what we have until we lose it,but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives.

Maybe...the brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past;after all, you can't go on successfully in life until you let go of your past mistakes, failures and
heartaches.

Maybe...you should hope for enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy.

Maybe...the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

Maybe...the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had(a/c,happy feet & dreamer should agree with this)

Maybe...happiness waits for all those who cry, all those who hurt, all those who have searched, and all those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of all the people who have touched their lives.

Maybe...you should do something nice for someone every single day, even if
it is a complete stranger.

Maybe...there are moments in life when you miss someone -- a parent, a friend, a relative -- so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real, so that once they are around you appreciate them more.

Maybe giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but, if it doesn't, be content that it grew in yours.

Maybe... we should live more, laugh longer and love unconditionally:)

Randomness

Growing up, I thought I was as random as one could get BUT two people totally proved me wrong. So much for a random visit. LOL. I swear I could have died of shock when i realised they also decided to stop by.

Oh thanx for such an awesome day Sunny:) You're the BESTEST friend ever(To the gang: you guys are nothing less-I love you all)! Yes, i will more then consider Nathan campus for second semester. Being with you makes me smile an everlasting smile,eventhough we are total opposites, I'm glad to have someone like you who'll always be there for me. You have no idea how comforting it feels to have someone like you around me.(Yes, the next time I fall sick, you'll be the first to know)

Somedays I wonder how I managed to get such awesome friends:)

Thanx Loser:)

"Well, your eyes are puffy- Which, from experience, screams textbook crying eyes. You have your hair up, so you’re probably not planning on impressing any boys today. I’d say you’re nursing a hell of a broken heart, and not the school girl crush kind, you’re dealing with the real thing"

As said by happy feet:)

I didnt know webcamming was so revealing!:P

Love you.xo

:)

When you look at yourself in the mirror, who do you see looking back? Is it the person you want to be? Or is there someone else? Were you meant to be the person you were meant to be but fell short of? Remember, you're not alone. If you look closely you might see someone like you. Someone trying to find their way; someone trying to find their place; someone trying to find their self. Sometimes it’s easy to feel like you’re the only one in the world who’s struggling, who’s frustrated, or unsatisfied at barely getting by.

But, that feeling is a lie and if you just hold on; just find the courage to face it all for another day, someone or something will find the way and make it all okay. Because we all need a little help sometimes, someone to help us hear the music in the world. To remind us that it won’t always be this way. That someone is out there, and that someone will find you.


Believe that love is out there. Believe that dreams come true every day. Because they do. Sometimes happiness doesn’t come from money or fame or power. Sometimes happiness comes from good friends and family and the quiet nobility of leading a good life. Believe that dreams come true every day. Because they do. So take a look in that mirror and remind yourself to be happy because you deserve to be.

Let it be..

She’s not like that now. She knows better. She knows now that people lie and promises can be broken as quick as they are made. She understands that good things fly in front of your eyes before you can reach out and grab them. She knows that you can’t change or help time, so every now and then, it’ll just run out.

There isn’t a place for everyone in the world, so if you’re standing alone for a while, that’s why. Not everything in life comes easy, but when you work the hardest, that’s when it’s your best.Everyone will be broken at some point in their life, and more often then not. It’s gonna hurt like hell, but you can’t stop it. You can’t change your own fate.

At some point, when you have experienced everything you can, the words “life” and “risk” won’t mean anything to you anymore. But don’t try and change that. stuff like that is meant to happen. Over time, certain things no longer have an affect on you, and that happens cause that’s the way its suppose to be. But you’ll learn all that later in life when little things like a sunrise or a spring rain start to matter. But it might catch you off guard and happen sooner. I mean, ask her. She knows....


He thinks she deserves better....
She thinks he is PERECT in his IMPEFECT ways...

I Believe In...

I believe in friends and the learning that comes from laughter, tears and stories shared...

I believe in the wisdom that can be found in fun && the bonds that are formed out of trust and honesty...

I believe in the strength of one hand holding another through times of trouble and the miracle of perfectly-timed smiles and hugs...

I believe in disagreeing with everything you say,not because you're wrong but because I love the way you defend your views...

I believe in friendship like ours...

Thanx for being such an awesome roomie:)

(You're still a loser && you're not the only one that can write poems!)

Everything you do..

For ever heart that finds love...
There is a heart that cries.

For every dream that is reborn...
There is a dream that dies.

For every day filled with sun...
There is a day of rain.

For every hour filled with joy...
There is an hour of pain.

For every smile upon a face...
There is a tear to cry.

For ever fond hello you say...
There is a sad goodbye.

Confused

I've seen your eyes in the morning sun,I've felt you warmth in the pouring rain. You're like a warm summer breeze, you keep me warm in your love and then softly leave making me want even more.

I had coulds of doubt surround me all ready to break like a storm, but your words helped bring out the rainbow even before the storm hit. I trust your words, because I've seen the honesty in your eyes. Many have told me to do otherwise,I really hope you don't let me down (You really wouldn't want my friends from back home hunting you down;))


If I ever got lost would I find something in your eyes to lead me home? And if it all went wrong would you be there to hold it all together?
It's easy to be there through the good times but when the times get hard. Would you stay or walk away?

& she decided

There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept..
Things we don't want to know but have to learn..
&& people we can't live without but have to let go

I'll still turn around and say it was all worth it:)

...

Its weird how you feel when you start making decisions while listening to your heart. After a few moments of happiness you get a box full of sorrow and loneliness. Tears and self doubt are also part of the package.

As soon as i close my eyes all the memories come rushing back,I can see you face in front of me in broad day light and your memories haunt me through the moonlit nights.

If ever I get to meet god, I'll make it a point to ask him why he gave us a body made of soil yet a heart made of glass and cursed it with the quality of falling head over heels for someone!!! If only he had given us glue gun to put all the bits and pieces of the "shattered glass" back together.

The brightness of the sun seems to have dulled down by itself. The rain seems a lot dryer nowadays and even the breeze seems to have found a new direction to blow through. Time seems to have stopped and everything goes back to that one moment!

Thanx guys for bearing with me through out the day! YES, 4-eyes the choc sundae was YUMMM!:):)

Flashback

Going down that same road brought back so many memories. Its only been a while but it seems like forever. So much has changed,the place & the people. But you guys are still the same!:)

Now i remember why i never went out in the wind! DAMN POLLEN! I forgot what it felt like to sneeze non-stop! Thanx to the weather here,i got to relive those moments once more!:@ 3 anti-allergy tablets and it still hasn't stopped! God bless the pollen and dust!

I keep dreading about the day i go back,here being with you guys has kept me from thinking about stuff. Things i don't really have the courage to face. Its the feeling you get when you're 4 and you spend the whole day at the beach building the BEST sand castle ever and all it takes is one strong "wave" to bring is crashing down.

I remember every word that you said, It all just keeps spinning around in my head
But no matter what I try to do I can't get you out of my head And I don't want to think about you so much.Just when I think about someone new...I keep on forgetting to forget about you:(

Truth Hurts

When I'm with my friends I feel as though nothing in the world could hurt me. They filter the pain sadness and sorrow and turn them in to roars of laughter which show the happiness from the heart.I was lucky enough to have been surrounded by all of them when you left me at crossroads.

As unbreakable as I may seem from the outside, I'm twice as vulnerable from the inside. I'm glad you were honest about what happened,but It's just something I cannot forgive OR forget. It was just one of those situations where i prayed that I heard the wrong thing. I was just not ready to believe you could do such a thing,I could pretend that It never happened just to make things go back to the way they were,but I told you once that I give my friends and my loved ones my all but if they lose my trust its gone forever.

I don't have it in me to face you, and thats the way it has to be.

Awesomness

one word! WOW, thats all i can say! The flight was entertaining, i didn't know sitting next to 2 Norwegian girls could be so entertaining( no offense roomie) these guys were insane!Myrun and Sigrrid! (hope i spelt it right) hahahaha.... The "orange juice was exceptionally tasty":) Hope i get to see you guys again! If not, thanx for entertaining me through out the trip! I love you guys!<3

Saturday night was awesome, at least the bits i can recall! Though i didn't plan on being the one who had to drag everyone in the gang back home! I really love you guys and i cannot explain in words how happy i was when i got to see you all. To a/c: If me surprising you, brings tears to your eyes, I promise you this, it will never happen again. Even if they were tears of happiness..... I never want to be the reason your eyes weep.


Can't wait for tonight:) Another night of awesomeness with the friends that mean more then the world to me.


=]

LOST REMOTE

I think the concept of no one will be home will 4 should not be trusted very much!
SCENE ONE
Certain someone decided crashing on the couch would be entertaining, so it was till they started throwing pop corn and eventually ended up in a cushion/tickling war!
---
The war subsided after the while but they remained in the same position and decided to watch HI5.
---

SCENE TWO
Certain someones Aunt walks in, with them in that position! Just slightlyyyyyyyyyyyy awkward!!!

Aunt- HEY
A&E- Uhh HELLO( So stunned that they forgot to get up and sit properly)
Aunt- So what are you guys up to?
A&E- uhhh...umm...Looking for the remote that seems to have disappeared in the couch
Aunt- Oh the remote that on the coffee table in front of you?
A&E- Oh yeah.. RIGHT!(*right about now E feels like sinking into the floor and disappearing forever*)
Aunt- Soo you guys have fun, i just came by to return you mums recipe book.
A&E- Both attempt to get off the couch at the same time and tangle over and fall flat on the floor on top of each other! CLASSIC!
*Aunt laughs till shes in tears and walks out politely*
*A gets up and tries to control his laughter*
*E just wishes she could crawl into a hole and stay there forever*


THE END!

Choclates:)

I cannot believe how exceptionally lame my reply was that night! And you wouldn't stop laughing!:@ Oh well, another day wasted txting,LIBRARY-ing and aimlessnes! The best bit of the day would have had to be pizza, which unfortunatly i wasn't able to finish:(

Thoughts for the day:
we hide behind a skin that only 'appears' to be tough
we don't say I love you enough, atleast those meaningful ones...
we all have things that are left unsaid at the end of the day, what happens if the tomorrow you're waiting for never comes?!
we don't know what we have till its gone BUT we also don't know what we've been missing out on till it arrives:)
we all have fun but there are very people I'm surrounded by that are genuinely happy
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Finally found the book, took almost a week to find that. Thats actually reasonable considering the mess my room is in at the time being! I hope roomie likes that. I know it wasn't much, but it was worth the effort trying to fix her mood.

:)

Yes, I've had a million people ask me about the sudden boost in excitement!!!

I finally realised my mistake, I'm glad you were patient enough to listen, kind enough to understand and caring enough to forgive. I know i can be stubborn at times but you saw all through that. I was just scared to let go and venture out into something so different..

Some moments no matter how exciting or interesting, the mind fails to recall, others so simple and suttle yet it becomes embedded in your memory and stiks to you head like a song on replay. Thats exactly how that moment is in my head and i want it to stay there forever:)


The waves, so peaceful and serene,caressed by the soft moonlight,gave magical feelings to the night.The soft blue glow,the lovers' words that then did flow,their lips closer and closer until, locked in the throes of a passionate embrace,he decided to express his feelings,to keep her safe.He whispered softly,his words like music to her ears,"You mean ALOT more to me,More then you'll ever know,"and her response the same,heard like the gentle breeze,"I...I...I.. Like You abit more then I like choclates":):).That was the night they promised to be together to take on the world. And be there for each other no matter what happened! An unexplainable bond of togetherness without a label, let the mystery puzzle the world, we couldn't care less! Relationships are messy and people eventually get hurt, we're young once...we should live laugh and love and keep the serious stuff for later on!;-)

Thank you for making me smile through my heart!:D

DAMN quicklist!:@

Sending messages were WAY eaiser without having to deal with those damn quick lists!:@ I always end up sending messages to the wrong people!!!

Though this time around I was glad it went to roomie and not anyone else, Shes still trying to put the pieces together, I'll eventually tell her whats it about, don't feel like killing the suspence for the time being.

Pretty funny how a few words can change your perspective about situations, i've told you my weakness, i've poured my heart out to you. I understand you aren't superman....you're only human..you feel as much as I do...you see as much as I do...I know you can't make everything perfect for me BUT I'm glad you're willing to be by my side through those not-so-perfect moments:) Thats all I ask for..

Those that I thought the highest of eventually let me down, those that I cared about eventually left without thinking twice about how I would feel. I've learnt from these mistakes, NO I'm not saying that I will be prepared for it the next time something as such happens...because thats just not possible. Though I will be careful about the kind of people I surround myself with so that I don't let anything like that happen..

ALMOST DONE WITH ASSIGNMENT!:):)

The gangs request!;-)

I've finally gotten round to doing what you guys asked me to do a million years ago!:)
Kay-My totally opposite Siamese twin! I still can't why you're so calm and collected. Organised and practical!! Everything i'm not/ever going to be!! Those LATE night calls (or should i say early morning talks!) Thanx for always being there, you were the one that always showed me a deeper meaning towards things. You know I'd never say this in person because you know "how" expressive I'm in terms of emotion!:P but I'm really grateful to have someone like you to look up to. You're the only one that can get me back on track when I start to drift away. You've always been like my bullet proof vest:) I love you so much for that!


Air Con- My lovable loser,The most famous love hate friendship of '08!!!!! I have no idea who met who first,or how we became friends. The only things i remember are those rib tickling lab classes,fighting for the best seat,playing rock paper scissors to see GP, tripping on hot guys,making fun of juniors,those u19 soccer matches!;) The bus rides where all of us usually ended up on the floor...the list is never ending and i hope that's how it remains!! I really miss your laugh! I know I'm not there with you,but I promise you this if ever you need me there, let me know. I won't hesitate to be there for you. You're the BEST loser ever=]


Bush Man-The insane bush man! I reckon I was the only one in school that could keep up with your hyper activeness!!! I still remember the day you chased me with the mop around the senior block!But nothing beats your SKILLS at rugby!!!!<3 Chinese TV shows were the best stress reliever! Those mid night fone calls just to see if i was awake, and then competing to see who was able to stay up the latest. You know more about me then i actually know about myself, you were the only one that realised the vulnerability in my eyes." I know you are eager to start a new beginning,but your eyes tell a different story, I saw you smiling and saying you last goodbyes to everything you knew,grew up with and loved more then life itself but your eyes....there is something about them today,they seem to want to move on yet not let go.." YES i remember the whole conversation:D Thanx for watching over me, EVEN THOUGH you are still 10 days younger then me!:P I love you more then you'll ever know



Others coming up soon, please don't kill me, This was in no specific order ALL of you guys mean the world to me!

Jaane Kyun...

Kyun hum unhi logoon pas vishwaas kartein hai jo hume anth mein dkhoka de jaatein hai? Aaj mere sath kuch aisi hi baat hui. Baat utni bhi ghambeer nahi thi lekin bharosa ek bahut hi mahatwapurna cheez hai...well, for me it is!! And i guess thats where i went wrong!:(

Aise logoon par vishwaas karna meri purani galti hai! Aasha hai ki aaj ke baad yeh naubat na aaye ki jispe main bharosa karoon wahi mujhe dhoka de jaye!

It's like walking on egg shells at the moment....trying to control and hold yourself together. I would rather isolate myself for the time being, kyonki kisi ko kuch bhuri tarha kehne se toh acha hai!

Trust ek sheeshe ki tarha hota hai, ek baar jo toot jaye, woh dobara jur sakta hai lekin it will never go back to being the same....

Change...

Today my roomie asked me a question, one that has me thinking till now..... What she said was in fact very true. I'm...well at least i wasn't someone who would do things like that....I was never someone who let things go over board. So, for once her question left me speechless.

I made a promise to you guys that i wouldn't change, i wouldn't forget about who I'm or where I'm from.......now i feel as though I haven't kept my end of the bargain..... Maybe its knowing the fact that no ones watching you and there is no one to judge you that has led me down this path. Then again, I don't want to make excuses for my actions because the final decision was always mine.

I can't change what has happened, but i do ensure you guys that none of this will happen again..(well at least anytime soon;-)

Thanx roomie for getting my "Fijian Brain" back to the way it should have been with your question:)!

A new day- A new begining

I really should stop blogging midday because i leave out most of the important details. Like getting soaked in the rain while playing tag! Its amazing how we forgot everything for a moment and just let ourselves go. I would not have walked back in the thunder/lightening/rain had you not been there. I'm glad you didn't get struck by lightening:P I would never be able to replace such an "awesome" surf instructor!

One thing I've learnt is that the important things in life are the ones worth waiting for. Patience is a virtue i have yet to learn because we can't always get what we want. In my case, I have absolutely no idea what i want and that's what makes me even more impatient. Knowing the fact that there is someone else that is waiting for your decision is even more painful as each day gone by is another day wasted.

I think letting go is the best thing to do for now because holding on is just too painful. What is makes matters worse is letting something so special pass by because of my insecurities.

I just want you to know:
sometimes we joke; and sometimes we're serious.
Sometimes we're just indulged in random talking that doesn't make sense to anyone(even us)And sometimes we don't talk at all.
But all of the times- I feel comfortable with you,and I trust you with every word I say.
You will find someone better:)

Ohhh Yeah, crazy girl has gone for her creative writing feedback!! Can't wait to hear about how it went. I really like her thoughts, maybe....just maybe, one day I'll have a serious conversation with her(maybe not). She is a total kick ass artist && totally creative reminds me of air con;-). I'll post some of her stuff... soon...!

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...I don't need somebody to complete me. I want you to know - I'll give up my love,
BUT I'm not giving up my soul..

It's like trying to catch your shadow- IMPOSSIBLE!

It was just one of those days where you felt everything would go well.....that was very much true, till i got a glimpse of him again. All those thoughts that i dreaded for the past week came rushing back.With a weak smile and heavy heart i decided to stop over and talk with him.

The pain in his eyes was almost impossible to miss. I could see he tried his best to cover it up with his usual jokes but it just didn't seem to do the trick this time around. What hurt even more was knowing the fact that I was the reason for him being in that state.

We only said a few words, the silence did the rest of the talking. It's times like these you wish you could start over...or turn back time even though impossible as it may seem. Its not that i enjoy doing this to him. I wish he would understand my side of the story. I guess in the end it is my fault after all because i haven't told him the reason.

I'm worried about his reaction. Would he understand my insecurities?? Would he understand my side of the story???

Him being perfect in so many ways might be the reason for my indecisiveness.......Oh well, right now I don't have it in me to face the situation. Yeah, you can call me a "kicken".. It's just impossible to give an answer...

why do all the rivers flow into the ocean? And why does all the love in the world come strait from the heart? And why does all the pain I feel come from deep inside? Oh, all those questions I could have answered ... if you were by my side

BACK TO MARKETING!!!!

Yippiiieee

Yessss, total awesomeness!!!!!! GUESS WHY???

I finally started with my Marketing assignment! That too with motivation from dodgy's cousin! Yes, the one i've only met twice! A much needed outing on Thursday night just sounds TOO tempting....;)

I have to get this assignment done by thursday so that i can move on with another major assignments! ARRGHHHH week 10 will definitly NOT be my favourite week!:(

....tip top lick lock....

back to marketing for the time being!!!;-)

AWESOME SONG!<3

Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round
Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears,
Every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by,
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes bright eyes, Every now and then I get a little bit restless and I dream of something wild,
Every now and then I get a little bit helpless and I'm lying like a child in your arms,
Every now and then I get a little bit angry and I know I've got to get out and cry,
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified but then I see the look in your eyes...

TURN AROUND<3

Tag- You're IT!

So, its Monday!! Officially the worst day of the week! I have 2 lectures! Ones over and done with! Another one to go from 6-8! Someone save me from the pain!!!!!

Met up with Jess, shes eager about getting rid of the marketing assignment! ( YES, the one i haven't started with).Plan on pulling an all nighter at dodgy's place( hope music isn't a distaction as usual, OR trips to the beach).....

I just realised how insane my friends are, the gang calls me up from the library and decides to sing "Straight Through My Heart" Hoorrrrayyy for BSB! LOL.


Missed the gang back home so bad last night.........just the fact that someones there for you. It was just one of those days where a simple hug would make you feel so much better,even though nothing was wrong.... I miss the comfort of being with friends who used to annoy me everyday yet drop everything and be there for me if ever i felt alone. Oneof the many perks of being the youngest in the lot;-)!!!! Oh well gone are those days.... not that i'm not in touch with them anymore....it's just that distance does become a problem.


Oh well, i better penn off now!

Till tomorrow...

Marketing + Confusion! ARGHHHHHH

Shampoos aren't my favourite things at the moment! ARRGHHH!

I really have to get on with my marketing assignment which is about evaluating a bottle of shampoo!!(how wonderful). I need big time motivation as well as a diversion from the distractions.

Last night was hilarious. Having 2 random guys walk into our apartment is exactly what you need at 1 in the morning. The crazy Norwegian suffered from giggling fits which made it almost impossible to have a conversation without bursting into mad fits of laughter. I should come up with a new nickname for her, i guess dysfunctional doesn't suit her anymore. How does nitrous oxide sound? LOL. I have no idea why but i totally get a kick out of teasing her, I've promised that I'd be nice to her from today since she finds that to be totally awkward. It's actually funny, because we have become so used to finding ways to annoy each other that an aura of niceness just seems too awkward to handle. But she is definitely one of those few people that could light up a dull day with her randomness.

She is pretty stressed out at the moment which i totally dislike but there isn't much I can do to help her out. I guess letting her know that things will be OK is easier said then done... Old habits die hard....and i can't see people around me sad and i bet the gang back home would vouch for that;-) I do hope she gets through this situation and goes back to being her cheeky cheerful self:):)

"I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. & maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there".
((The Perks Of Being A Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky ))

Back To Blogging

Ahhh, finally after a much needed 8 month break from blogging, I'm back:)
It's Saturday...a painfully slow Saturday. I should be getting on with an assignment which is due exactly a week from today BUT as usual I've deferred that activity to a later date.

So much to do, so much to see...it's like discovering a whole new world. Though there are certain moments when do I look back and question my decision to venture out alone. But those moments quickly fade away when I go off on one of my little adventures. In the past 3 months I've learnt more about life then i ever had, (Well maybe thats a tad bit exaggeration...) This is very much a learning experiance for me.

As usual I didn't have a problem making friends, most of whome are very much similar to the ones i have back home. One thing I've learnt is that you do not have to change yourself inorder to fit in. Others will love you for who you are rather than what you are when you're with them. Yeah, this was a very short insight into my little adventure!!!
I'll keep you guys updated, as for now I'm heading off to grab some food.
xoxo